Kristanza

**why, hello. My blog got lost in the mess of life for a bit. My apologies-I’m back now!**

My beautiful best friend cousin, Christina, got married in December and wanted to share a story with y’all…which I loved and encouraged me-so hope it does the same for you! enjoy her post below!
(here we are at her gorgeous winter wedding <3 )

During this Easter season we hear a lot about love. We talk about the love that Jesus had for us, SO MUCH LOVE that he would die for us and for our sins. Love, sex, and relationships are always going to be a topic of discussion. Kristin, Jessica and Annliese have talked about loving ourselves, loving our friends, and preparing ourselves for love with a husband. The last one is my favorite type of love to discuss. Maybe it is because I just got married but how great are the love stories of When Harry met Sally and How to lose a guy in 10 days? When we watch these movies our first thought (most likely) is not “WOW God has everything to do with this!” I wanted to talk to you all about why he really does have everything to do with it. We can experience amazing things when we bring God into our relationships and let him work his magic…. you heard me right, magic. Love is magical.

I am married to a great guy named… lets call him GI Joe. GI Joe and I were married in December. I visited Kristin about a week ago and in her endlessly wonderful and romantic way of talking she asked, “ SO! Are things different, now that you’re married?!” and so badly I want to tell her that being married is the most amazingly romantic and magical time in my life and that we are living happily ever after. But I think I said something along the lines of, “No not really, GI Joe has had a lot going on and its not really me… its him. He’s not exactly a happy person and there is a lot of stress affecting us.” It was really hard to admit things have NOT been going as smoothly and romantically as I thought marriage would be. I found myself asking lots of questions….

I’m sure many of you have had boyfriends, crushes, and other influential men in your life. How many times have you thought about your expectations? For me, a hopeless romantic, there were guys such as Zach Morris & Zac Hanson…. to you maybe he is Justin Bieber…. well maybe him for me too- that boy is so cute! Hey, I’m only 24 – I digress. When you experienced love or a relationship you may have felt a bit disappointed. It is confusing this relationship is what you always wanted but it doesn’t turn out how thought it would be like. Have you ever tried to talk to God about it?

Feeling lost lately, I turned to God, I asked Him if this was in His Plan for me. Was this how things were supposed to be? If GI Joe and I shared His gift of love between one another why was I feeling disappointed? I prayed, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I found myself in Barnes and Nobel to search for a good novel- I ended up buying an anthology consisting of 7 Jane Austen novels, I had wanted a collection for a while and I needed a good romance story to cheer me up. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice would be the one. If your European studies/ English classes haven’t made you read it, it is a wonderful novel, well my favorite. I would name our future kids after the characters if GI Joe would let me. I’m obsessed, get over it…. mmk?

This book most importantly “oooh la la” has the ultimate manly man hero Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy is dashing and handsome and much like prince charming in that respect. After rereading some of my favorite parts, I realized I owned an unread book called Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter. After some Pride and Prejudice I was itching to see what it was all about. It is a spinoff novel about a modern girl named Emily fed up with dating and her endless fantasy of a man like Mr. Darcy. Emily decides to go on a Jane Austen tour in England for spring break instead of going to the beach with her friends. As I read about Emily’s self discovery, in real life I found myself becoming more and more annoyed with my relationship. GI Joe was nothing like I wanted him to be.

Here is the amazing thing about God, if you open your heart and mind to him he will guide us – Me and Mr. Darcy had sat on my shelf for 2 years… I snuggled up with tea and read it in 2 days. While I was reading I could not believe the parallels I kept drawing to my own life and my unhappiness. My prejudices were getting the best of me; how could I have been comparing GI Joe to that of the “perfect” man, Mr. Darcy? I was prideful in thinking I had been the perfect wife… but how could that be reality?

With one chapter left, the book comes to a culmination filled with romance and heartache (I won’t ruin it because I know you ALL want to read it now)… and just as I was about to finish my book. I heard a car outside and there he was….. my MR. DARCY standing there with a giant bunch of yellow flowers. I burst into tears.

I looked at the card attached and it read- “I love you, true story ”

As much as we think we are searching for Mr. Darcy and prince charming – we just may be missing those real and true stories happening in our own lives.

“To you I shall say, as I have often said before, do not be in a hurry, the right man will come at last.” – Jane Austen

-Christina

Even the best of friends can grow apart. It’s often due to a change of activities, different school schedules, etc., but sometimes the problems run deeper than that. Having things change with someone you’ve been friends with for a long time can be confusing. The truth is, though, that most friendships change over time. We talked about this in our small groups a couple of weeks ago and Kristin brought up a great quote: “People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” (I’m not sure who originally said this quote, but Kristin told it to me so there you go.) It’s okay for friendships to evolve. In many cases, the friendship will weather the changes and will be worth maintaining. Sometimes, however, it may be time to move on. If you and a friend have been drifting apart, you can take this nifty quiz to help you figure out how you feel about it:

Whenever I hang out with this friend I:
a) have so much fun! It makes me wish we still hung out as often as we used to.
b) have a pretty good time. We don’t have as much to talk about as we
used to but it’s still nice to see each other and catch up.
c) feel kind of tense or annoyed, to be honest.

If I invited her to my birthday party it would be because:
a) I really want her to come!
b) I’ve always invited her. Not that I don’t enjoy her company, but
she’s not one of the first names that comes to mind.
c) if I don’t she’ll give me the cold shoulder or talk about me behind my back.

If you were worried about something or had some exciting news, would
you confide in her?
a) Yes. She’s still one of the first person I think of when I have
good news or I need to talk.
b) Maybe. She wouldn’t be the first person I would call but I would
still like to share with her or get her opinion.
c) No. I either don’t trust that she’ll keep it a secret or I think
she’ll just make fun of me instead of being supportive.

When I think about the span of our friendship, I feel:
a) lucky to have such a great friend. She’s someone I continue to want in my life.
b) happy, but I can see where our lives started taking different courses and it makes sense.
c) confused. Either she used to be a much better friend or we’ve never really had a very good or trusting relationship.

If she doesn’t really know what going on in my life right now, it’s because:
a) we haven’t had a chance to catch up. I have so much to talk to her about!
b) she’s not really one of the people I update regularly about my life.
c) I don’t trust her or don’t think she’s really interested.

How do you feel about the fact you two are drifting apart?
a) Sad. I really miss the time we used to spend together.
b) Fine. I still like her and have good memories of all our fun
times, but we have different things going on now.
c) Relieved.

If your answers are:

Mostly As: It sounds like it’s important for you to maintain this great friendship! It’s okay that you two may not have as many opportunities to spend time together now; schedules can be really hectic in high school. The important thing she knows your friendship is important to her. Try to make time to hang out. Make plans ahead of time so you can fit it into your schedules.

Mostly Bs: It seems like your friendship is naturally evolving into something different. People grow apart and it’s not always because of some big dramatic incident. One or both of you could have changed and now you have less in common. That’s okay, and it still may be nice to keep this person as a friend. You still have some great memories and have a good time when you catch up. However, it’s okay to accept that you two aren’t as close as you once were. People change!

Mostly (or maybe any) Cs: Toxic friend alert! If you answered C for any of these questions you should take a good, hard look at your friendship with this girl. If you answered mostly Cs, then it seems pretty clear: This friendship is not healthy. There’s no reason to be mean or rude, but it may be a good idea to distance yourself from this friend. Whether you two became friends out of convenience, are more “frenemies” than friends, or you’ve just recently seen her true colors, this friendship is just bringing you down. Continue to be polite and respectful, but spend your time with your real friends!

-Jessica

Hey girls! We’ve been doing a series in the student programs at Nativity called “Exposed” and I have had the pleasure of hanging out with the girls. And let me tell you, I have been having some awesome chats with the middle and high school girls. If you want to check out the podcasts, head over to the right sidebar and give them a listen.

Also, these girls have been asking some really tough (but great) questions regarding sex and dating. So while we’ve been talking about them in the student programs, in the upcoming weeks I want to post about some of the more popular questions.

Also, stay tuned for a post on friends coming up!

Until then, remember how incredibly beautiful you are and how God designed you PERFECTLY.
Kristin

We are in the middle of a cool series in Uprising and Resurrection at Nativity tonight-and in the process, we invited a lot of gals to check us out here at kristanza.com So if you’re new, welcome!

Tonight, your right-before-the-weekend message is…God loves you an incredible amount. And not only that, but He loves you just as much as He did yesterday, a year ago, ten years ago, and when you were born. Nothing you can do can change that or lessen that. No matter what you’ve done, God’s love is bigger and stronger, and He is waiting to hear from you. And when He does, He is ready to pour out love upon you.

That being said, the way we live our life show flow out of our love for God. You do nice things for your friend because you love and care about her. You help your parents with the dishes because you respect them. In the same way, we can make good decisions for our lives that flows straight from the love we have for God.

So have an amazing weekend and remember-God wants an abundant life for you…the best life you can possibly have. He cares about the status of your heart and wants to guide you towards heart happiness. Give Him permission!

If you’re new, send a question our way via the “talk to me” tab at the top of this page. Or leave some comments with your thoughts and we can start a little dialogue.

-Kristin

Oh, Valentines Day. Chances are you love it or hate it. I have always loved it, boyfriend or not. I think it’s fun to celebrate having people to love, and having people love us. I don’t care who it is…parents, Godparents, Grandparents, friends, coworkers, cousins…whoever!

But most girls I talk to say that they would love valentines day if only they had a boyfriend. But that shouldn’t stop you! I know it seems like only then things could and would be perfect…but that necessarily isn’t true.

The greatest thing you can do in the meantime is take advantage of this time. Practice how to love…bigger, stronger, deeper and more unconditionally. Let yourself be engulfed in this amazing capability we have to love. Love your friends, your family, your dog, your bus driver, your teachers. Love people you don’t even know! The more your heart opens up to loving the better you’ll get at it. It’s like practicing a sport or trying to learn calculus-the more you work on it, the more successful you’ll be, and chances are you’ll be more confident in your ability too!

And, most importantly, practice loving God with an all consuming, i-want-to-be-with-you-always kind of love. Use this boyfriendless time (but make time even if you have a boyfriend right now) to get to recognize God in your daily life. And-bonus!- you’ll get to know who you are more, too. Because our identity lies in Christ…so the more time spent with Christ…the more clear we will be on who God made us to be! No matter what-God will always be the perfect, always there for you, never failing valentine. See? You’ll ALWAYS have one!

And, as a final note…if you’re really feeling lonely and wishing for that boy to come along, instead of wallowing in self pity-use that time to do what I do sometimes:
Write a letter to the man you’ll marry someday (if you’re called to marriage). I know that sounds weird, but it can be a very productive use of time. It reminds your heart that just because you’re single right now, it may not and most likely will not always be that way. If you’re supposed to marry, God has someone special for you. And when you are with him, won’t you want to be the best girlfriend, then wife, you can be? In a letter you can let your future husband know that you are preparing your heart for him, that you can’t wait to meet him someday, and that you are praying for him. Trust me, it’s a great way to practice love.

I leave you with an awesome quote from this book:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

So on this valentines day, I send you love….but know that God loves you the most. And not just any love…an incredible, life altering, intimate, love. Like the biggest hug you’ll ever recieve-and MORE!

-Kristin

Hypocrisy is no fun.

We’ve all had a run in with it, whether it’s your mom saying she would never eat ice cream for breakfast, then you catch her with Ben & Jerry’s at 8:30 in the morning…or maybe it’s a teacher who claims to never accept late work but then makes an exception for one student just because their parent is on the school board. Or maybe it’s the idea that freshman never get leads in the play, and then some diva comes along and snags the role that should have been yours.

Situations like that can be very annoying. They can frustrate us because once rules are set and we have decided to accept them, and they are broken by the rule maker….it’s not fair.
You trust the rule maker (whoever they may be) to not go back on their word. If you say you are going to do something, or not do something, you should stick to it and not go against your own word.

But what about hypocrisy with faith in God?
It is so crucial and important to build relationships and to have friendships with girls who share your faith. It’s so important that I will even say it is 100% necessary for your faith to grow. Does this mean you should not have friends who don’t share your faith? Of course not…it’s important to have a variety of friends. BUT- the friendships that are built on a shared faith sometimes hold a little more judgment.

Yea, admit it. We all judge. Can you BELIEVE she wore that shirt today? I THOUGHT she was smart, but did you SEE her test grade? Wow, Zach totally ignored her today, she must have driven him away with her rudeness.

And when we judge other people with their faith, it may start out with good intentions. You SHOULD hold your girlfriend, and other Christians, accountable. If they are about to screw up big time-you should encourage them to make a good decision. But then it can go a step too far too often and…yikes. Suddenly you sound like a much better Christian than they do. And then you start getting angry at that person and their decisions. Then you may become defensive of your own faith and your own life and instead of helping that person draw closer to Christ….you’re just getting madder and madder. Now it’s more about that person and how they’ve screwed up and they’re giving Christians a bad name.

We could spend a lot of our time griping on how other Christians aren’t behaving the way they should. And okay, maybe you’re correct. We could call them all sorts of names like hypocrites and maybe some other trashy not nice girl names. But the time we’re spending on focusing on what OTHERS are doing….those are chances we’re missing to check out what God’s doing in our own life. And then it’s just our loss.

And it’s also important to take a second to realize that a person’s relationship with God really is between them and God. Even though it may seem like a person you know is having their double chocolate cake and not only eating it but getting ice cream on the side…(translation: they are doing “the church thing” and getting perks out of that but also partying on the weekend and meshing with the popular kids) they will have to deal with the difficulties of trying to live a double life..which is NOT fun. It’s going to catch up with them sooner or later. SO-throw an encouraging word when you can but if you don’t have anything nice (read: nonjudgmental) to say…then probably best to do what your mom always said and not say anything at all.

PS! This reminds me of one of my fav Scripture verses…God’s talking to Samuel and says:
“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). So while we see what’s going on with a person on the outside..God, and ONLY God, can see the heart. It’s His job. And he is pretty darn good at it, so we should stop trying to steal that job.

-Kristin

Hey, we all have our crosses to bear.
I knew from a young age that one of mine would be inheriting my grandmother’s thighs.

In fact, my family used to refer to my backside as “a Johnson butt,” a loving term derived from grandma’s maiden name. I’m sure it was meant endearingly, but I never came to appreciate it that way.

I put myself on my first “diet” at 8 years old. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I wanted my body to look different, and was willing to give anything a try. I remember a babysitter looking with concern when I would pause in front of my reflection in the windows of cars that we’d pass while bike riding, declaring myself “fat” as my warped, fun-house mirror image stared back at me.

But I was smart. I knew that much. Everyone told me I was. And I was athletic. Give me a ball, and I would hit, pass, or catch it like I’d been playing all my life. So, that’s what I had going for me. I made up my mind that I’d be the smart jock rather than the pretty girl, accept my role, and shut up about it, so I went boyfriendless with bad skin and frizzy hair throughout high school.

And all those movies I’d go see with friends on weekends? I realized that all those “teenagers” were actually played by 26-year-old actresses. But I really wished someone would inform all the boys in my school about the casting situation — especially the ones I wanted to ask me out. But even though I knew better, that didn’t keep me from desperately wishing for a 26-year-old body from the age of 14.

So, when I went away to college, I decided it was time to reinvent myself. By now I’d learned to tame the mane of hair on my head. But it was time to transform myself into the pretty girl who evvvvvvery other girl wanted to be. Smart. Sporty. But most importantly, hot. (Hey, everyone’s got a dream, right?)

I’ll spare you the details of the obsessive exercising, the eating (or lack of eating) habits, the binging, and the occasional purge, but let’s just say I was very blessed that it never got to the point where it was a diagnosable disorder. The point is, that “dream” I had about the girl I was supposed to be? It never came true.

Because it didn’t matter how thin I got, how much makeup I put on… Thin never felt thin enough. Pretty never felt pretty enough. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have been satisfied until I walked into a room and made everyone’s jaw drop like some sort of Sunday-morning cartoon.

And what kind of goal is that? Who does that benefit? It certainly didn’t make me a happier person.

Shortly after, I began — for completely unrelated reasons — speaking with a spiritual counselor. During one conversation, my body image issues surfaced, and she asked “well, is this something you’ve prayed about?”

No, never.

Why? I guess a small part of me thought it was too superficial of an issue to bring before God. But an even larger part of me feared that if God somehow resolved this negative obsession with food and my body, I’d “let myself go,” becoming this fat, unattractive person with no regard for my looks. And that’s exactly the fictional person I’d been running away from since I was a child.

But here’s the deal: It’s not a small issue. And I’m certainly not alone. Women and girls struggle with meeting the physical expectations of men (and, let’s face it: other women) all the time. I could blame the glossy magazines. I could blame Hollywood. I could blame boys. But at the end of the day, if I never even tried to involve God in any way, the largest party to blame — was myself.

If there were any way for me to go back in time and have some Freaky Friday-esque meeting with my teenaged self, I would tell her this: You’re 14. Stop trying to look and act 26 — it takes all the fun out of being 14. (The boys will just have to understand.) Rather than wishing to look or be like anyone else or any other age, expend that energy on becoming the best possible version of yourself. And finally, if God created your body in His likeness, something tells me He might be a good source to talk to about it, no ifs, ands, or Johnson butts about it.

-Annliese

Mean Girls, the movie, is pretty hilarious. Actual mean girls… not so much. Girls are mean for a variety of reasons. They could have a rough home life, suffer from low self-esteem, give in to peer pressure, or just be mean-spirited at this point in their lives. Whatever the reason, though, mean girls can make an already-stressful school day (or party, practice, rehearsal, etc.) pretty tough to get through. My school days were not without these girls (and sometimes boys). Hopefully, I can help you deal with these situations without giving up on your faith, your values, or your heart.

The first thing to remember is (and I know you all are sick of hearing this): You can’t control how other people act. Simple, but it’s important to remember. You can only control how you respond. God gives us all sorts of opportunities to exercise maturity or “do the right thing.” Looking back, we may realize that we’ve learning incredible lessons from hard situations. Unfortunately, this can be difficult to realize in the moment, when you feel like you just want to go home and cry. In this moment, you may do anything you can to make that feeling go away.

If I can give you one piece of advice, my darlings, it is this: Please refuse to talk about people behind their backs.

I will tell you why.

Okay, first things first. As much as I love Mean Girls (and believe me, I do), I think it’s much more illustrative of middle school than high school. In high school, mean girls are much more likely to be mean behind your back than to your face, aren’t they? Let’s take our resident mean girl, Kendall (I’m going to use this name because I’ve never known anyone named Kendall). Kendall is mean; she talks about you behind your back. People often come up to you and tell you what she’s been saying about you. You feel like you need to defend yourself, and set everyone straight about Kendall. You need to do that, right?

Well, yes and no. You should stand up for yourself. Honesty is important. If something Kendall said about you is a lie, you can say that it isn’t true. If what she said is cruel, you can say that it’s hurtful.

The important thing to remember is: Do not insult Kendall. Do not say anything bad about her. Do not talk about her behind her back. I know you want to. I know that you think she deserves it. I know that she’s been insulting you. I know that she’s a mean girl and you want to discredit her so people don’t believe all the things she’s been saying about you. But don’t do it.

Jesus didn’t say to turn the other cheek because he wanted people to walk all over you. He didn’t say it because he never wants you to stand up for yourself. He said it because he knows that when you “sink to their level”, when you say something mean about someone else, it’s bad for your heart. And the truth is that when you come up with something witty to say about Kendall, or when you try to get people on your side, or when you talk about Kendall with a group of people, you probably don’t like yourself too much afterwards. When you talk about Kendall like that, it makes you a mean girl too. And that’s not who you are.

I know that a lot of you are probably thinking, “This is all easier said than done.” I know that most of you are also wondering how this is going to help you. After all, it doesn’t often seem like high school is a place where they reward moral and honest behavior. But I promise you that being kind, listening to God, and guarding your heart will help you. It may not seem like it right away, but it will help you.

When you talk about someone else, people notice. Even if they’re laughing with you, even if they’re agreeing, “Yeah she really is nasty, I can’t stand her, she’s so mean…”, they remember the things you said. Even if you’re just trying to deal with a bully, what people will remember is: “She talks about people.” On the other hand, if you take the high road, people notice that too. If you treat people with love and respect (even if you don’t like them; this is an important distinction), people will notice that. If when Kendall is rude to you, you “turn the other cheek” and don’t talk about her behind her back, people will notice. Just to be clear: It will serve you well to be kind and to refuse to talk about people behind their backs. (Put another way, there is meaning and reason and a bigger plan and a bunch of other wonderful stuff behind what God wants us to do. I love that.)

So let’s say you give this a try. Soon, when Kendall makes fun of you, people will realize that she has no reason to. They will remember that you don’t talk about people behind their backs. The will remember that the last time Kendall insulted you, you may have admitted you were hurt (which is okay to do), but you didn’t say anything mean in return. They will remember your kindness. And they’ll start to think Kendall is pretty mean for talking about you.

Please remember that you are valued. No matter how the Kendalls of the world make you feel, please remember that you are important to God and that he made your heart kind. When you gossip, when you talk about people, you’re not being yourself. Think about it: Do you ever feel good after you do it?

It’s not easy to experience pain and respond with love. It’s definitely not easy to take mean behavior and respond with maturity. (Adults still struggle with a lot of this stuff!) It can be hard to do what you know is right. But give it a try. Pray about it. Talk it over with your friends. I think that if you do this, you’ll like yourself more, you’ll make better choices, and you’ll feel closer to God. Sounds pretty good to me

-Jessica

Do you ever feel like from the second you wake up, your day is off to a bad start?

Well I do. And often times I let myself get frustrated and annoyed and irritated and every little thing, and it feels like the whole world is against me. It starts with me stubbing my toe on my bedpost, then I spill the toothpaste, then my contacts won’t go in my eyes, then I can’t find the paper I need to bring to work…it can drive you nuts. And sometimes it does. Been jammin’ out to this awesome Francesca Battistelli (she ROCKS) song every morning lately. It has been lifting me up and reminding me that God is so much bigger than these tiny little things that get on my nerves. And yet He is so loving as to care about my bad morning or irritating day. And not only that, but He also can use those little day to day things to teach us new things! If we pray for something like patience, God doesn’t send a fedex package of patience to our doorstep, but rather provides us with opportunities to be patient. God doesn’t force us to do anything, but He goes to great lenghts to help and guide us.

Anyways, check out this song, it’s a great “singing-into-your-hairbrush-while-you-pick-what-to-wear-while-dancing-around-your-room” song (not that I’ve done that or anything).

Happy Monday!

Kristin:)

I am not sure what I was thinking launching this right before a lot of busy things were about to happen in my life-but that’s what I did. And now, consider this the resurrection of this blog. I am going to try my very best to be committed to encouraging and sharing about how to be a set apart girl living for Christ. God has put this blog on my heart night and dayyyyyy and so I also plan to be more obedient to what God is calling me to do. The great thing is- even if we slack off God is so ready when we finally show up!

I recieved a bunch of “talk to me” emails with concerns and questions! how GREAT! I have lots to write about. So, here we go.

The first one was about how to talk to Jesus when things get rough. That is an AWESOME question. It can be really easy to say to someone “go pray about it.” But when things are rough-often that is the last resort!
It’s like when you want to get healthier-people say “just stop eating chocolate.” YEA RIGHT! Easier said than done!

But talking to God is way more important than chocolate…so here are some steps to approaching God when life is getting tough:

1) Schedule time
High schoolers live in routine. You may say you don’t like being told what to do and when to do it, but deep down I think you like it. You have less decisions to make that way. Get up, get dressed, go to school, go to practice, come home, eat dinner, do homework, go to bed. Makes things pretty simple, right? Well, because our lives can get so scheduled there is often no time to talk to God! So what do you do? Make time. Actually put it in an “unchangable” slot in your day. If other things try to get in the way-kick them out! This is important. You wouldn’t forget to eat dinner, would you? No way-it’s essential! Otherwise your stomach would be crazy hungry. Well, your spirit gets crazy hungry, too-and it needs time with God to satisfy it. Sometimes people say it’s bad to “schedule prayer” because it makes it seem like an obligation. While I understand that, I also think we are creatures of habit and often need to schedule things that are important so we can give them a high priority.
2) Create a sacred space
Just like there has to be a time for everything-there is also a place. Of course, prayer can happen anywhere-but in times when you need to be baring your soul to God you want to pay attention to where you are. Any space can be sacred space. Sacred means you are giving respect and attention to God when you’re hanging out with him. Just like if you were meeting a friend to hear about a problem she’s having- you probably wouldn’t do that in gym class outside in the cold where you have to shout to be heard because you’re running up and down the soccer field. Not a good environment for a heart to heart. Your friend probably wouldn’t feel that loved, would she? Because you love her, you set aside a time and a place where you and her could really talk. Same thing with God. I like to light candles and play soft worship music, because it quiets my heart and mind so I can really share with God, instead of making to do lists in my head while I’m trying to pray. Location is important! And ps! I know it sounds like a good idea to pray as you are in bed at night about to fall asleep….but while your body is probably relaxed, your mind is probably not alert to connect with God when you’re going through a rough time. No one likes it when someone trying to talk to you and they fall asleep!
3) Try different styles
This is important because God created all girl-hearts to be very different. While some people love chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, others are desperate for mango sorbet! Because we’re different, it means we are going to connect to God differently too. The most important thing in prayer is being honest. God knows your heart already, but longs to hear you share it with Him. Start out by writing down how you feel. If that feels great, keep writing. If you get stuck, try reading what you wrote out loud, and continue talking about your feelings and worries and joys out loud-as if you were talking to a friend. If you feel uncomfortable continuing to speak out loud, close your eyes and share your thoughts with God. No one’s going to be watching you, or judging you. This is your alone time with God. And when you are finished, try praising God for all the good things He brings in your life. Tell Him you want His help. Tell Him you want to trust Him, even if you don’t know how. Ask God to bring more people into your life who love Him and love you. God wants the best for you always, and loves it when one of his daughters shares her heart.

Remember that you are special and uniquely beautiful-and God loves you more than you can imagine!
Send on over some more thoughts! Let’s keep this going!

Kristin